Recently I posted my earliest memory and invited fellow readers and bloggers to do the same. A few folks took me up on it, and one of them upped the ante by suggesting that we also write a fictionalized version.
One problem: My first memory occurred when I was two years old, and any story in which the main character is two will have to be a picture book. I don't do picture books. I have great respect ... nay, awe ... for those who can write good PBs. I cannot.
Nonetheless, never one to shrink from a challenge, I've taken a stab at this and written a rhyming picture book, complete with talking animals. Actually, it came out more like a kids' rap song. For maximum effect, you may wish to read it while imagining a beat box in the background.
Linda Lou Goes to the Zoo
There once was a girl named Linda Lou.
She wasn’t four, she wasn’t three, she was only two
When she went with her mom and her sisters to the zoo.
For a tour that was led by a lady in blue.
(A lady in blue. Dressed all in blue.)
They saw some little critters all covered in fur.
The woman of the cloth didn’t know what they were.
In fact, her proclamation created quite a stir.
“Look,” she said. “Seals!” Um, yeah … sure.
(Um, yeah … sure. I mean … der.)
One of the animals sat up and gave a stare.
“We’re otters, silly nun, the seals are over there.”
And with that, Linda Lou, our heroine so fair
Turned redder than the shade of a Barlett pear.
(A Barlett pear. A juicy red pear.)
The poor, flustered nun had a horrified look.
Her mouth turned down and her hands, they shook.
Linda Lou hid her face and a deep breath took
And said, “Let me out of this picture book.”
(This picture book. Stupid picture book.)
Author's note: To those editors out there who may be reading this, feel free to leave your contact info in the comments section. And let the bidding wars begin!